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- TOP TEN BAD THINGS ABOUT WINNING $70 MILLION
-
- 10. THEY PAY YOU A DOLLAR A YEAR FOR 70 MILLION YEARS
-
- 9. SURE, YOU CAN AFFORD LUNCH IN NEW YORK CITY, BUT WHAT
- ABOUT DINNER?
-
- 8. CITIBANK RAISES THE LIMIT ON YOUR VISA CARD TO $100 MILLION,
- AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE IN OVER YOUR HEAD
-
- 7. YOU IMMEDIATELY LOSE YOUR CREDIBILITY AS A DUNK TANK
- CLOWN
-
- 6. TIP A WAITER ANYTHING LESS THAN A THOUSAND BUCKS, AND
- HE'LL CRACK YOUR SKULL WITH A PEPPER MILL
-
- 5. PAPERBOY TRIES TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THE NEW YORK TIMES
- NOW COSTS $1200 A DAY
-
- 4. YOU KNOW YOU'LL JUST SPEND IT ON 70 MILLION MORE LOTTERY
- TICKETS, YOU MORON
-
- 3. SOME CHEMICAL IN ALL THAT GREEN INK TURNS YOU INTO A
- CRAZY LITTLE CHIPMUNK LIKE ROSS PEROT
-
- 2. YOU DONATE IT TO A COLLEGE & THEY NAME A BUILDING AFTER
- YOU CALLED "LUCKY BASTARD HALL"
-
- 1. OVERSTUFFED WALLET MAKES YOUR ASS LOOK HUGE
-
- Letterman, Friday, October 28, 1994
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1994
-